Happiness is a choice you make.

"I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve let people take advantage of me and accepted way less then I deserve. But I’ve learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I’ll know better next time and I won’t settle for anything less then I deserve."

I think I really loved you. I really think that I did. I know that sometimes you may think that I never truly cared about you, but I know that I did. Even if those feelings weren’t love, I know there was something between us. Maybe it was just friendship, maybe more. And I know now that your problems were much more then I could have ever helped with, but I don’t doubt that I made a difference in your life. I know that having someone around who really and truly cared about you helped. It helped you know that people who care are out there, and although you may not have something like that at home, or even with your friends, I have to believe that I gave you the hope that love exists. But I can only hope. I will never know for sure. Because, as much as it kills me to say, you’ve changed into a person I don’t know. I sometimes wonder whether the real you is down there somewhere, gasping for air before you drowned him out completely. I hope you realize how great you were, before the caring, funny, sweet person I knew is gone forever. I know we have a past together neither of us will forget. But I am sorry to tell you that’s all it will ever be. I don’t think we can have a future together. As friends or more. Because you’ve hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt before in my life. Not because you didn’t care about me but because you didn’t care about yourself. I’ve realized if you want to help someone who is ruining themselves with drugs, they need to want your help before you can even begin to help them. And I don’t believe you ever wanted my help. I don’t doubt that you loved me, but I think you felt you were in love with me because you’ve never experienced that kind of love before. And that kills me. But what kills me the most is that there is nothing I can do about it. As much as I want to help you, I just can’t do it anymore. Some may think I’m being selfish, but I just can’t watch you do that to yourself. I just can’t do it and I’m more sorry then you will ever know that this relationship is over. That our friendship is ultimately ruined because of the horrible things that you’ve been exposed to. I hope this will open your eyes to all the awful things that come from drugs. You have lost someone you loved because of them; unfortunately I doubt it’s enough. I can only hope you don’t realize the horrible truth about drugs before it’s too late. I hope you don’t forget the lessons you’ve learned from our relationship, but I wish you would forget about me. The last thing I want is to cause you more pain, but I know it will happen. You are my soul mate; I just wish you’d realized it before it was too late. You were my very best friend, and I think that maybe down the road something could have happened. I don’t doubt there was a future there. Sadly, that future will never become reality. I love you, and I will always love you. But I have to try my hardest to forget about you, because I’m done hurting. I didn’t deserve the pain you caused me and I know that now. I just hope you realize how much you are worth before it’s too late.